Lady Melissa Trafelet Lives A Really Lavish Life

The British upper-class has long held an important place in the popular imagination. With their gorgeous country estates, posh “RP” accents, and larger-than-life hats, these aristocrats have appeared in the tabloids — and previously the “society pages” — for decades. And, while this elite class continues to inspire television shows and movies like “Downtown Abbey” or “Belgravia,” it can be difficult to imagine that anyone truly lives in such opulence.

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One member of the British nobility, however, seems to be on a low-key mission to prove that all the stereotypes surrounding rank and lavish lifestyles are actually true. Born into the old-school English peerage, Lady Melissa Trafelet has always enjoyed wealth and privilege. In 2024, her parents’ fortune was estimated at approximately $600 million — meaning that she was raised in one of the richest families in England. Since those childhood days, Trafelet has gone on to purchase mansions, launch a fashion brand, and even rub shoulders with Prince William and Prince Harry.

Although it can be difficult to wrap your mind around Trafelet’s luxurious lifestyle, the noblewoman has not been afraid to share the details of her rarefied life with the public. Over the years, she has given numerous interviews about her status and all the perks that go with it. The result is a very fascinating picture of what life in the upper echelon is truly like.

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Most children grow up in small houses or apartments, but Lady Melissa Trafelet is not exactly most children. As a British noble with the titles to prove it, Trafelet was destined for a different sort of experience — that of being raised in full-blown castle. “We moved into Alnwick Castle when I was eight years old,” the aristocrat recalled in a conversation with Atlanta Magazine. “When we first moved in, we all shared one bedroom, the four of us siblings.”

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Of course, it was not for a lack of bedrooms that Trafelet bunked with her brothers and sisters. As Alnwick Castle boasts an impressive 150 rooms, there was more than enough space for everyone. That being said, Trafelet and her siblings found the castle intimidating when their parents first inherited it. In the same interview, the noblewoman shared, “It was a big place — it was pretty scary.”

As time went on, the children grew more comfortable in their new home. They began to discover that the castle had some unique design elements that made it a fun place to live. “It was a lot of exploring — secret doors and secret rooms, it was a huge adventure playground,” Trafelet told People. Eventually, the family was able to share their beloved home with the world. Not only was it selected to represent Hogwarts in the early “Harry Potter” movies, but its rooms were also displayed on the unforgettable television hit, “Downton Abbey.”

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Just because Lady Melissa Trafelet grew up in a castle does not mean that she is a princess. That being said, she is not exactly a commoner either. As the daughter of Ralph Percy, the 12th Duke of Northumberland, and Jane Percy, Duchess of Northumberland, Trafelet is as blue-blooded as can be. Her family can trace their ancestry back to important historical figures like King Charles II. 

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Interestingly, Trafelet’s titles have put her in close contact with royalty on multiple occasions. During her years living at Alnwick Castle, one of Trafelet’s closest neighbors was Queen Elizabeth II — who often stayed down the street at Windsor Castle. Although the young noblewoman has since moved away from her childhood home, she continues to forge close ties with some important names. In 2017, she even welcomed a real princess into her immediate family after her brother, Lord Max Percy, walked down the aisle with Princess Nora of Oettingen-Spielberg on his arm. With royal blood in their past and present, it seems that the Northumberland family is not poised to lose their social status anytime soon.

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Queen Elizabeth II was not the only royal to ever rub shoulders with the Northumberland family. Prince William and Prince Harry used to spend a great deal of time with Lady Melissa Trafelet, as well. At one point, it could have even been said that the royal brothers considered the noblewoman a member of their inner circle. The reason? Trafelet was once in love with William’s best buddy, Thomas van Straubenzee. And, for the time that Trafelet and van Straubenzee were together, the couple would spend hours with the two princes.

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Recalling this time in an interview with Atlanta Magazine, Trafelet revealed, “[Van Straubenzee] was a friend of my sister’s and introduced me to all of his friends, including Prince William and Harry and Kate. One person who I’ve really hung onto, who is my best friend in the world, was Harry’s ex, Chelsy [Davy].”

Because of van Straubenzee’s close connection with the House of Windsor, he was sure to include William and Harry in the most important moments of his life. Thus, when he and Trafelet decided to tie the knot in 2013, their wedding became a royal affair. Not only did both William and Harry attend the ceremony, but the boys’ cousins, Princess Eugenie and Princess Beatrice, were also in the pews.

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Royals galore RSVP-ed “yes” to Thomas van Straubenzee and Lady Melissa Trafelet’s nuptials, and the pressure was on to throw an impressive party. Luckily, the couple did not disappoint. Trafelet and van Straubenzee hosted a 500-person extravaganza that began at the historic St. Michael’s parish church. They then welcomed guests at Trafelet’s family home at Alnwick Castle, where they hosted a fireworks show.

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Naturally, the bride dressed to impress. Her wedding gown was designed by Bruce Oldfield — a British couturier who is best-known for having designed Queen Camilla’s coronation gown. Years after the Trafelet’s wedding, Oldfield told Tatler that he was particularly proud of the stunning dresses that he put together for the bride. “Lady Melissa Percy’s [wedding dress], which was a very sporty number with a pearl and chiffon-embroidered bodice and the most enormous, full organza skirt; the bridesmaids on the other hand (who included Chelsy Davy), were simple and chic in my bias cut dresses,” he recalled.

Trafelet was also sure to wear some pretty impressive bling. In addition to a gorgeous necklace, the aristocrat paired her dress with a literal tiara. Although we cannot confirm the name or make of this piece, it does appear to be an old Northumberland family heirloom. Photos of Trafelet’s grandmother, Lady Elizabeth Montagu Douglas Scott, show that she wore a strikingly similar tiara to her own wedding decades earlier.

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Part of being rich and famous is, unfortunately, knowing that your name will occasionally show up in the headlines. For Lady Melissa Trafelet, this reality became clear less than three years after her wedding to Thomas van Straubenzee — when the couple decided to file for divorce. Because of their links to royalty, the tabloids took the story of their separation and ran away with it. At first, Trafelet struggled to deal with the stress of the news cycle, but she eventually found that a little bit of luxury could help her recover from her woes.

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In order to de-stress from the whole situation, Trafelet jetted off to California. There, she checked into an exclusive health retreat and decompressed from the challenging ordeal. “I felt like a new person when I got back,” she told Tatler. “I was on this path and let nothing affect me, whatever was written about me, whatever was said.” She also signed up for a culinary class at the prestigious Leiths School of Food and Wine in London. After a whole lot of physical wellness and delicious eats, Trafelet found herself able to cope.

By the time Lady Melissa Trafelet’s 30th birthday came rolling around, she was on the mend. She had learned to deal with the invasive British tabloid press and knew that no cruel headlines could define her. To celebrate this fantastic moment of personal growth, Trafelet decided to host a fabulous birthday party. Speaking to the Daily Mail, she revealed that the event had been hosted at Syon House in London. She also added that the theme was “black tie with a hint of sparkle” — lending itself to some pretty iconic moments.

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The most impressive thing about the party was arguably the dessert. Trafelet humorously ordered a custom-made cake in the shape of a shark that appeared to be biting off her head. While this may have been an odd choice, Trafelet was very enthusiastic about the design. As she told the Daily Mail in the same interview, “I love sharks. And I got to cut myself up with a sword!” Never to be outdone, she turned up at the party in a stunning Alexander McQueen gown that had been gifted to her by the Duke and Duchess of Northumberland.

Although it was not initially easy for Lady Melissa Trafelet to forget first marriage, she managed to fall in love again. The American hedge fund tycoon, Remy Trafelet, was just her sort of man. And, when a mutual friend introduced him to her, sparks flew. Commenting on the relationship to People, Trafelet gushed, “It all sort of happened at the right time and we have so much in common, I’m super happy!” In 2019, Remy and Melissa realized that they were pregnant and subsequently tied the knot in a small private ceremony.

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Just because Melissa’s second wedding was far less lavish than her first, however, does not mean that her second marriage was any less blessed — financially speaking, that is. In 2018, the New York Post estimated Remy’s fortune at approximately $200 million. Plus, as reported by royal expert Richard Eden in the Daily Mail, Remy’s 2018 divorce from his first wife, Lara Trafelet, proved quite revealing in terms of the family’s lifestyle. As noted in their divorce filings, the Trafelet crew is accustomed to having a staff. In the past, they have employed chauffeurs, private chefs, and personal trainers.

For Melissa, this luxurious setup was hardly anything new, as Alnwick Castle is also known for hiring an extensive staff. Melissa once told the Daily Mail, “There are 25 cleaning ladies, so there is no way you can ‘sleep in,’ and I could never, ever come down for breakfast in my pajamas.”

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Since their 2019 wedding, Lady Melissa Trafelet and her husband, Remy Trafelet, have settled down in the United States. However, the couple could not choose just one place to reside. Instead, they split their time between New York City and rural Georgia. Although these locations may seem like polar opposites, the Trafelet family has managed to find gorgeous homes in each spot.

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While in New York, Melissa and Remy live in a stunning townhouse on the prestigious Park Avenue. In a city where most residents cram into tight quarters, the Trafelets are privileged enough to occupy four floors of spacious bliss. Photos taken by Tatler reveal that the home boasts a large private terrace as well as a wide modern staircase. The décor, which seems to embrace eccentricity, even includes a shark that hangs by its tail over the stairwell.

As if the Trafelet townhouse in NYC were not impressive enough, the couple also owns a massive estate in Georgia. Known as Mercer Mill Plantation, the property spans over a shocking 6,000 acres of land. Interestingly, Mercer Mill does not just function as a home, but also a reserve for quail hunting. As such, the Trafelets have outfitted the property with horse stables and kennels for their hunting hounds. As Melissa and Remy also bring mules on their excursions, their property is often full of a wide range of expensive animals.

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Lady Melissa Trafelet has enjoyed traditional aristocratic activities since she was a child. Not unlike Queen Elizabeth II — who had a passion for dogs and horses — Trafelet grew up with all the perks of an upper class country life. She particularly enjoyed the classic combination of hunting and shooting. As Trafelet herself once revealed in an interview with People, “We always used to go out [shooting] with Mum and Dad, from the age of four of five and sit with them and watch, look after the dogs or sit in the car and eat sweets, they always made it fun!”

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As an adult, Trafelet has continued this old-timey aristocratic tradition. While staying at the Mercer Mills estate in Georgia, she has been known to organize massive hunting parties for important guests from around the world. In fact, she invites people over so frequently that these outings are an integral part of her lifestyle. 

Chatting with Atlanta Magazine, Trafelet shared, “It’s rare that we don’t have guests. The routine is to get up at 7, have breakfast around 7:30, and be out on the horses by 8:30. It’s lovely out just chatting on horseback.” The aristocrat loves showing visitors a good time and is sure to balance outdoor activities with indoor comforts. After a full day of hunting, Trafelet says that she brings her guests back inside for “tea, baths, cocktails at 7, and dinner at 8.”

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Back in 2017, Lady Melissa Trafelet told the Daily Mail that she wanted a “football team of children,” with just two caveats. “Only with the right person and once I have set up my nest,” she said at the time. Since then, her dream seems to be on the path to coming true. As of the publication of this article, Melissa and Remy Trafelet have welcomed four children. Their oldest daughter, Bluebell Trafelet, was born in 2020 — just months after their wedding. The couple welcomed twin sons, Alfred and Percy Trafelet, three years later. And, in 2025, Ivy Trafelet joined the couple’s ever-growing brood.

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Although it is largely expected for these children to be raised in a privileged environment, there is one element of their upbringing that has been known to drop jaws. The playground where they will frolic at Alnwick Castle cost a whopping £17 million ($20 million) to build, according to Tatler. From what has been reported, the kids’ grandmother — Jane Percy, Duchess of Northumberland — will be thrilled to host them at one of Britain’s most impressive projects. And, while the playground is open to the public during the daytime, it would not be wild to assume that the Trafelet children will enjoy special access to this amazing park.

It is not entirely unusual for a woman of the British upper class to launch her own brand. Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex has long tried to get her company, American Riviera Orchard, off the ground. And, Lady Melissa Trafelet has not been afraid to start a new lifestyle brand of her own.

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Mistamina is a company that sells cute and comfortable clothing for women to wear while hunting, fishing, or horseback riding. Launched in 2017, the brand is all about being your best self in the great outdoors. Speaking to Tatler about the company’s origin story, Trafelet revealed, “The older I get, the more I love the countryside. Then the idea [for Mistamina] just came to me.” And, while the brand’s name may seem a bit unusual, Trafelet has no plans to change it. “I like it because it has the word stamina in it, which fits with being outdoorsy,” she explained.

Far from being your typical model, Trafelet does not exactly dream of walking for Louis Vuitton or Chanel. Even so, she is more than keen to model her own brand — appearing in many of the photos featured on Mistamina’s Instagram. Although it is difficult to guess what Trafelet will do next, it’s clear that she has used her privilege to achieve many accomplishments. As a horseman, chef, model, and businessperson, Trafelet has always propelled herself forward.

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